Err.... Anyway, we're back! The random two quirky friends... (Why did I say quirky?!? what the heck...) Anyway yeah so we are basically gonna update this blog (Safiya, please change the background, or maybe I should do it... anyway yeah) It's summer and clearly I don't like using punctuation marks anyway, oh gosh... Okay It's summer and summer is when I spend my time inside my house while I randomly have guests at my house and go out with my family once in a while... I don't travel, my siblings don't like traveling but I do! I actually just want to go to another state like New York or something... I want to go zip lining because I've never been... Me and Safiya don't really have an inside joke but we like puns so we make a bunch of random puns.... Ex: REEMember (see what I did there :P) and PunSAFIYA (yeah...) We also have nicknames based on Harry Potter characters (No, I'm not kidding) anyway you should do this to, I guess! :P Anyway Safiya is Sirius black because well, her name starts with an S (and don't mentally say or comment or just say oh well there are other names that start with S from Harry Potter other then Sirius, because well because NO okay! :P) And mine is Remus lupin because my name starts with R and the first part of the name (REM-us) sounds like my name so yeah... Me and Safiya are fans, I was almost gonna use phan as a pun, but yeah.. sorry if that annoyed you! :P Me and Safiya are fans of Dan and Phil so last summer me and Safiya made a story kinda thing which you have to pay to read :P Buy it on audible.com! :P Just kidding! Anyway here, you can read it, (this is the whole story put together): DUN DUN... random title, I know :P It sounds so official like, The Johnson file (yes I got the Johnson file from the Shaytards if you watch them on youtube yeah....)
The Phil and Dan Story
*game show host voice* DANANANNANANANANA danisnotonfire! phil lester come on down! you have been chosen to play the DO IT OR DIE CHALLENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Dan: Well ahahha *dans awkward laugh* phil: that doesn't sound very good... MEEP! *phil's scared/worried face expression thing* Now you must...dive into that vat of ketchup! Dan: What?! *His 'are-you-joking-I-know-you're-
Me:JUMP INTO THAT VAT OF HAMBURGERS!
Dan:Happily! Phil: *has jumped into vat* NOMNOMNOM Dan: *has also jumped into vat* NOMNOMNOM
Me: ...FULL OF MAGGOTS! MAGGOTY HAMBURGERS!AHAHAHA! *laughs insanely*
Dan and Phil:WHAT?! *both jump out* Dan: Yaurgh! *spits while wiping hamburgers and spit onto his t-shirt (his 'HOWL' one-:P)* Phil: *jumps around while spiting, wiping mouth on his plaid flannel shirt and wipes maggots off of himself*
Me: OKAY THEN! REEMUS, CALL IN HITLER! :D
Dan/Phil courus: WHAT?! Dan: @#!%$~!!!!!! Phil: *stares at us like we're insane*
Adolf Hitler: Someone called me?
Dan: $#@!~^&!!!! (Guess what he's saying now!!! >.<) Phil: *hops up and down and runs in a crazy circle*
Dan: *comes to his senses* PHIL!! RUUNNNNNN!!!! *grabs Phil's arm and runs towards exit*
Me: OH-NO-YOU-DON'T! HITLER! AFTER THEM!!!!! >:(
Hitler: *runs after Dan and Phil with a machine gun* BOOM! BA-BOOM! BOOM! *machine gun shots*
Me: *sits calmly with hands in my lap* Well that was a very interesting and short game of 'Do it or die'! Don't you think, Reemus? Reemus? *voice gets smaller because you're not sitting in the chair next to me and I have a badsuspicion that the Dan/Phil team kidnapped you*
Me: *Jumps off stage after Dan, Phil, and Hitler* Dan and phil: *panting*
Dan: this is what i get for failing gym class three times
phil: Oh no the evil space lion is coming *runs faster*
Dan: *strange high pitched voice no one has ever heard* FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Hitler: WE MUST FIGHT! WE MUST FIGHT! Whats that?
Safiyell(you XD): *has a glider like the one aang from avatar the last airbender has* DANANANANNANANA you're not getting away!
me: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH! *kicks all of you and you all fall*
Dan: how'd you escape?
Phil: *has a private random dancing moment dananana*
me: *darth vader voice* WITH MY SECRET POW-ERRRS!!!!
Dan: phil what are you doing?
Phil: uhhhh...
Safiyell: wanna go to starbucks?
Phil: yeah sure
Dan: sure
Hitler: *slow motion* Y---ESSSSS Me: Carmel Frappe, please!
Dan: Expresso! Phil: Iced tea! *Everyone stares at Phil weirdly then dismiss him as a weird being*
Remus (you): Carmel Frappe!
Waiter: OMGOMG IS-THIS-REAL-LIFE OMGOMG ARE THESE TWO BRITISH BOYS DAN HOWELL AND PHILIP LESTER?!!!!! OMGOMG AND IS THAT ADOLF HITLER?!!!! OMGOMG *faints*
Dan: *looks around uncomfortably* We should probably get out of here before we get accused for second-degree murder.... Hitler: Yup Me: Yup Remus: Yup
Phil: Aww don't we get to at least drink our coffee? *whiney voice of his-USE YOUR IMAGINATION* All: NO!!! Phil: Awww...:(
*at Dan and Phil's flat*
Dan: *sitting on his beanbag chair eating potato chips and playing a video game* YEAH, MOTHER #@!%ER! THAT'S WHAT YOU DESERVE! MY BIG @## SWORD UP YOU BIG @## BUTT! *you know how he loves his games*
Phil: *is sleeping*
Me: Let's raid the fridge!
Remus: YEAH!
Dan: *gets ripped out of his video game by the word 'fridge'* NO! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO RAID THE FRIDGE! *voice lowers as he continues playing his game* It's not like there's anything in there, anyways...Phil needs to go to the grocery store....hmm...*gets lost inside his game*
Me: Meh. We should probably listen to Dan...
Remus: Yeah..... *me and you get bored after a while*
mad-eye: PHIL! GO TO THE GROCERY STORE!
me: I have a sword phil shall i stick it down your throat until you go to the grocery store?!
me and you: WE'RE HUNGRY!WE'RE HUNGRY!
*chris randomly comes in*
Chris: danananan DAN OPEN THE DAMN DOOR *knocks as hard as he can*
Dan: Well hello there this has just became sexual DANANA JUST KIDDING!
Dan: what are you doing here?
Chris: I just thought you would like some breakfast... *hands him scrambled eggs, milk, and cereal*
Dan: Ohh... well phil was just about to go to the grocery store *glances back and laughs awkwardly* *you are poking phil with a sword, phil is laying down sleeping and drooling, and I'm sticking a lot of I <3 YOUR MUM stickers on phil's pants Me:Oh... *yells in Phil's ear* PHIL GO TO THE GROCERY STORE!!!!!!!
Phil: *bangs head on something-possibly YOU* Ung..what? Huh?
Me: *yells in Phil's ear again* GO TO THE GROCERY STORE!!!!!!!
Phil: Fine..god...*grumble, mumble-puts on jacket and gets the keys*
Phil: Oh, hi Chris
Chris: *hides the breakfast he brought* Hi, Phil *looks around awkwardly*
Phil: *leaves*
Chris is still standing in the doorway awkwardly
Dan: FOR GOD'S SAKE, CHRIS, COME INSIDE!
Me and you: HAHAHA! *laugh insanely because of the 'I LOVE YOUR MUM' stickers on Phil's jeans*
Dan: *looks at us rolling on the floor laughing* Yeah...those stickers were pretty funny...*stares into space for a while then starts laughing insanely in his famed beanbag chair with a video game controller in his hands and headphones around his neck*
Chris: *starts laughing with us because Dan's laughter is infectious*
Phil: *returns holding a bag from the grocery store and is fuming* WHO PUT THESE STICKERS ON MY PANTS!!!!!!! And Chris, what is it you're holding?!!!
All: *stops laughing immediately*
Me and you: *glance at each other*
All: *starts laughing louder*
Phil: *falls onto the couch laughing with us, then procedes to tell us a little girl and her mum's reaction to the stickers all over his pants* *Phil puts the groceries on the kitchen counter*
mad-eye: FOR GOD'S SAKE PHIL GIVE US THE GROCERIES!!!
phil: they're on the kitchen counter
me and you: *try to reach it* UNGHHHH UNGH *groans*
dan: phil *laughs awkwardly* *suddenly turns into a darth vader voice* YOU MUST HAND IT TO US PHIL
phil: *filming a video* so I'm guessing you guys are wondering why i still have I <3 YOUR MUM STICKERS on my pants and a pikachu on my lap that seems like its real, well remus put it on my pants and mad-eye helped him *internal cringe* and this pikachu is not real, sorry to disappoint you guys its a robot that my friend PJ made shout out to PJ from kickthepj here on youtube
Dan: dananananana HEY GUYS!!!!
phil: *shakes his head* this was uncalled for
dan: so if you're wondering why remus and mad-eye from harry potter are here they were shipped to us in a sad, lonely box
phil: yes, a very sad, lonely box... WITH STYROFOAM! Me: *throws those styrofoam peanuts into the air in front of them* (in Sirius's voice) Yes, boys, you are right but I AM SIRIUS, NOT MAD-EYE! *walks in behind them in a Sirius costume I found in Dan's closet* (in normal voice) By the way, Dan, why do you have a Sirius costume in your closet?
*everyone turns to stare at Dan who is obviously uncomfortable*
Dan: Uhhh...*blushes*
Me: Nyah. REMUS!
You: Phil, why do you have a Remus costume in your closet?
*everyone turns to stare at Phil who is obviously uncomfortable*
Phil: Uhhh...*stares at the floor*
Me and you: *jump onto the couch Team PHAN is sitting on and take over from there* We're actually just fan's of them...AND THE DIRECTORS OF 'DO IT OR DIE'! MWAHAHAHA! *evil cackle, thunder booms in the background*
You: Yes, we basically kidnapped them and forced them into it :D...*we both sigh happily*
Team PHAN: *suddenly come to life and tell of 'DO IT OR DIE', shoving each other and us out of the way*And THEN... So... KETCHUP... MAGGOTY HAMBURGERS...! ...Can you believe that?!
Me: NYaugh...*Dan's elbow has hit me in the face* NYAUGH Let's eat, Remus...! :D
*you nod and we fight our way off the couch to the grocery bag Phil brought in*
Me: ...OR SHALL WE KIDNAPP THE CAR? *says 'the car' in dramatic voice*
*We both sneak and get the keys*
Me: They'll see that in the background of the camera...
You: Nyah. Who CARES! *Gets the car keys*
me: *tiptoes*
you: LETS GO!!!
*We're now outside*
*we get in the car*
me: where are we heading to next?
you: don't know..
Dan: WAIT NO STOP!! MY CAR!!
Phil: aww they took the car
Dan: Phil go run after them
Phil: WHAT?!?!
Dan: Jeez Phil
*phil runs after us*
you: *stops the car*
you: what do you want?
Chris: *hands the breakfast*
Dan: *eats it* Me: DAN!!! WE WERE GOING TO EAT THAT ON OUR WAY TO FLORIDA! >:( *fumes*
Dan: *talks through a mouthful of food* Sowy...NOM NOM...
Phil: *looks at us* You guys are too young to drive, right?
you: Which is why we stole the car so that you would come outside and drive us! >.< *you try to be OVERWHELMINGLY CUTE*
Me: *glares at Dan* And thanks to fat @## DAN, we have to go buy more food! Phil, go get the grocery bag from the flat, and, Chris, go call PJ
Chris: *takes out his cell phone* Okay...*calls PJ* So...Florida...Yeah...Can you come with us?...
Phil: *returns with THE BAG* Here's the food! *Takes your place in the driver's seat*
Dan: *continues eating and takes my place in the passenger's seat* NOM NOM
Chris: PJ should be here soon...*sits in the backseat*
PJ: *arrives* I brought some food!
*Everyone stares at him-Dan stops in the middle of a bite of an egg sandwich*
Me: Well...we have enough food...BUT THE MORE FOOD, THE MERRIER! >.< *tries to be OVERWHELMINGLY CUTE*
*Everyone suddenly goes back to what they were doing*
Dan:NOM NOM...this sandwich is GOOD...! Where'd you get it from, Chris?
Chris: Shoppers
Phil: I THOUGHT I SAW YOU WHEN I WENT TO SHOPPERS! *is amazed*
PJ: *gets into the backseat with us*
Phil: *starts to drive*
All: OFF TO FLORIDA WE GOOOO...!(Off-key and in the tune of 'OFF TO THE WIZARD OF OZ WE GOOOO...!')
*We drive into the sunset-how did time pass so QUICKLY?!!* PJ: phil, are you really a good driver?
Dan: out of my experience, no
Phil: What?!!?!?!? haha yes i am........ *backs into the sidewalk*
Dan: *laughs awkwardly* what?! phil!
*we're at florida* In our hotel we're...
PJ, Chris, Dan, Phil, me, and you get pillows and try to balance it on our heads
*we all fail*
anyways....
Chris breaks in to dan's daydream of looking at the secretary (whos a girl... OH GOD!!!)
Chris: Dan?, What are you doing?!!?!?!
Dan: Huh?, oh nothing
Chris: yeah whatever....
Chris: Well you wanna go to the pool with us? phil and PJ are already there.
Dan: yeah sure...
*At our hotel room*
*Me, you, chris, and phil are playing the floor is hot lava*
*phil is about to fall, and does his worried scared face expression thing*
phil: MEEP!
you: Yo, FAT A$$ Dan gimme some food
Dan: well why don't you get off your big butt and get some yourself
you: *Groans* I'm kinda doing something?!?!?!?! *Raises eyebrows*
Dan: meh... yeah whatever *throws some food*
*PJ and Dan find a rotten apple in our fridge*
*Dan decides to eat it*
PJ: Dan, are you actually going to eat that?
Dan: Uhhh.... hahaha *awkward laugh* maybe...
Phil: Dan, totoro's scaring me!! meep. *does his worried scared face thing* Dan: oh phil don't be such a baby
Me: *grabs totoro from Phil and runs to our suite*
You: *run after me*
Phil: *runs after me* HEYYYYY!
Dan: *runs after us for fun* *pants**knocks over random old lady* Sorrysorrysorry...*cringes**
Old lady: *shakes fist at Dan* Young whippersnappers!
Me: *sits on totoro*
You: *sits next to me* WE MUST PROTECT TOTORO! :D *do-do-ta-too! YAH!*
Phil: *fights to get totoro*
Dan: *leans against a wall with a random bag of popcorn that appeared out of NO WHERE* Hum...interesting...NOM NOM...
Chris: What's-oh*leans against the wall with Dan and shares the popcorn with Dan*
PJ:Wh-oh *2 more bags have appeared and Chris, PJ, and Dan are calmly leaning against the wall together, eating popcorn*
you: wh-oh *a random bag of popcorn is sitting in your lap*
me: I want a bag of popcorn to!!! *a random bag of popcorn appears in my lap*
*we all film a video*
you: Hey guys, so its day 2 of our randomness in florida... and dan is being very stupid! *Dan does that weird dance with his butt...*
phil: *phil decides to show a collage of his "hey guys" intros for his videos
*chris and PJ throw a bunch of french fries in the air and say HAPPY HOLIDAYS!*
dan: but its not even a holiday?!
PJ: oh...
Chris: *random game show host voice* TIME FOR SOME RANDOM DANCING!!!!!!!
Dan: Sexy end screen dannce...OH GOD WILL I CATCH ON FIRE AGAIN OH GOD
Phil: *fails at dancing*
Chris: *bounces around on a bed*
PJ: *does the same as Chris*
Me and you: *pick-pocket Chris's cell-phone and play the music for 'Carmell Dancen'* YEAH! LET'S CARMELL DANC!Chis/PJ/Team PHAN: *pauses for a moment then jump onto our beds and start Carmell Dancen* YEAH!
(Go to: carmelldancen.org to get in the mood! :D I dare you to play it for a FULL 5 MINUTES AND DANCE TO IT! :D(half of the 5 minutes because after a while your hips start to hurt...I speak from experience :l)
Chris/PJ/Team PHAN: *pause for a moment then jump on our beds and danc* YEAH!
Dan: YUAGH! :D *that random patriotic music that is in some of his videos plays for a couple of moments*
*hotel manager kicks us out of our hotel because we were being to "disruptive" and were "bothering" the people next door*
Dan: Wait what?!?!?!
Phil: *pounds on door* LET US IN!
Chris: *gets mad* ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAR
PJ: well, now what do we do?
Dan: We drive into the sunset
PJ: Really?!
Dan: No, We drive to my uncle's motor shop
Phil: Dan's uncle owns a motor shop
Me: Why?
Phil: It's a long story
You: We got time
Chris: I guess... Tell the story Phil!
Phil: *Tells the story*
ME: Let's drive into the suuuuunseeeeeet! *in sing-song 'We're going to see the Wizard of Oz' voice*
THE END.
I decided to keep the part where Safiya told me to the carmelldancen thing in, I guess you can do it if you want but umm yeah, just be warned.... well it is probably to late but whatever, just be warned this story has typos and grammar problems whatever, we don't care.... So don't act like some grammar police because school didn't even start (for us! :P) If you read that whole story then that's cool! ...comment if you did?... :P
Okay BYEE...
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